Demons

Written by David Garner.

DemonDemons; we all have them. As I write these words, mine are bouncing around inside my head questioning my choice of words and insisting that I am the reincarnation of a three toed sloth (Pigmy at that!) far better suited to napping than writing. I should mention here that demons can be quite prescient and will use that ability to push you into certain actions and behaviors. Still, I press on.

I am writing this entry for two very important reasons. First, to exorcise my own in the moment and secondly to let you know that I know about yours. I say ‘in the moment’ because they always return. If I have learned nothing else in my eighty plus years, I have learned that. The little devils always return. As a result, I have developed a strategy for dealing with them that I will share with you in a bit. But first, let’s talk about yours.

How do I know that you have demons? Because to be able to read these words, you must be both human and alive and to be human and alive is to be possessed of demons. (Critical thinking at its best, that last sentence.) Now since your demons are unique to you, I won’t attempt to identify them with any specificity, except for that evil little scamp that messes with your sense of personal attractiveness. The specific tactic for ridding oneself of this feisty fiend is to repeat the following mantra whenever it rears its ugly head: “FLEE YOU FEISTY FIEND! YOU’RE AS UGLY AS HOMEMADE SIN! WHILE I, AS YOU CAN PLAINLY SEE, AM AN ABSOLUTE PERFECT TEN!” I guarantee that repeating this when confronted with feelings of doubt about your attractiveness will do two things. First and foremost it will cause you to smile and that in and of itself will improve your self-image and secondly, the fiend will vanish out of embarrassment. It wants nothing to do with a person silly enough to mouth those words. Now let’s move on to a general strategy for demon demolition.

First of all, acknowledge their presence and call them by name: “Oh, hi there Ms. Self-Doubt. Back again, eh? Must have been that comment from (fill in the blank) last night that called you up, or maybe that quesadilla…” Just identifying a demon goes a long way toward dealing with it.

Then sit with it for a moment. Chances are that one of the two of you will tire of the other and move on. It is, after all only a thought and you have better things to do.

Finally, get up and get going. You’ve probably lost what, an hour or two at most? If you entertain your demons on an ongoing basis you will lose a lifetime.

So there you have it; old Doc Garner’s “Dealing with Demons Doctrine.”  It’s kind of like my Parkinson’s and my diabetes. I have them but I’ll be damned if they will have me!

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